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Posted on 21. November 2014

Let It Out

Let It Out

By Rachael Watson

Time is spent wondering, waiting, wishing, whilst emotions overflow
No matter how hard I try, sometimes progress will be slow
The most frightening moment of my life, happened a year ago today
It made me feel so lost as thoughts started to replay

My independence was quickly taken away
I'm not sure how to cope with it, but I'll find a way
I still don't really understand it all
All I know is it's going to be a long haul
It's the simple things in life that I miss so much
I've forgotten what it feels like as I'm a bit out of touch
There's no normality as everything that I used to do is on hold
My future is so unknown but I've got to be brave, I've been told

Tears fall quietly when no one's there
Sometimes it's all just too much to bear
It's easy to put on a brave face and smile
Some days I would like a hug once in a while
So many people seem to have an opinion about how to handle it
They'll never understand the day-to-day challenges one bit
Family and close friends are important, so show appreciation
They stick by you during times of depletion

Long stays in hospital are never nice
Especially when there's no one your age to ask for advice
Being the youngest patient on the ward is extremely boring
There is a need for a purpose built facility which some people are ignoring
Even if your symptoms are similar but the diagnosis isn't on the list
You don't get access to a particular service, meaning you just have to persist
The system has specific criteria and guidelines to determine correct allocation
Spending a long time in geriatric rehab doesn't prepare you for adaptation

There's not enough research into this rare condition
I wish I could find a cure but it's a big ambition
Please donate blood as the infusions are helping me get better
Your donation saves lives so become a trend setter!
Already having multiple conditions, complicates the situation
I might be the only one in the world which just increases the isolation
It's really debilitating having chronic pain
There's no quick fix so you just have to maintain


I've had a lifetime of surgeries and therapies to increase functional capability
I'm having to start from scratch again but hard work will create a life full of possibility
It affects so much more than what people think
Many people are just oblivious and completely out of sync
Everyone's recovery is different and never the same
I just want to walk again as that's my aim

I'm also doing intensive physio at Making Strides
I love that place as it sends great vibes
The sessions are tough but exercise is crucial
New muscle activation or movement is extremely useful
It takes a lot of patience and repetition to make a breakthrough
Spending every second, minute, hour, if that's what it comes to

For scenarios not in a textbook, some people really struggle to work it out
To receive service of an exceptional or even acceptable standard,
sometimes you really have to scout
At times the healthcare system claims to provide adequate support,
which is a statement that is quite bold
Most pediatric services are great, but why isn’t there sufficient follow up for
adults young and old?

There's lots of adaptive equipment and assistive devices to make you less reliant
It's there to help you if you need it in the interim, so just don't be defiant
There needs to be an investment into the public and private sector which people may embrace
Enough specialized services to assist with a regular or complex case
Every now and again you come across someone who goes above and beyond
They help you become who you are today, I just can't find the right words to respond

There's a huge lack of services for young adults with needs
Why can't this change even though society pleads
Spend 24 hours as a caregiver to gain a small insight into what it's like
It's hard work with many hours unpaid but you can't just go on strike
The services are under resourced and many just don't fit
Please government, do something about it
I'm extremely grateful for any assistance I receive
I just wish there was more that could be done to relieve
The nation needs more education on access and inclusion
It might minimize the misunderstanding and confusion
There's a lot of stigma around the world of disability
Many people have a lot of versatility

People receive lots of support if the are popular or well-known
Spare a thought for those who have to do it alone
People's circumstances are different so don't be so quick to criticize everyone
Just make the most of each opportunity to reap the rewards in the long run
You're not an inspiration if you've won awards and accolades
You're someone special when you persevere whilst jumping over barricades
That's not to say you should be applauded every time you do something with your day
Maybe some people just have no idea what to say

I don't want sympathy, I just want respect
I'll achieve my goals, no doubt I'm correct
I never give up as I'm very strong willed
I'll protect my dreams so that I make sure they're fulfilled
There are so many things that I still want to do
Sometimes you just miss out and end up still waiting in the que
There is always going to be someone who is worse off than you
So be thankful for what you have but set standards to live up to
When things keep going downhill, you start expecting more and more bad news
You desperately hope to hear something good soon and people's positive views
Life hasn't been easy but I make the most of it
You can't always change what happens so just keep going and don't quit

It's been a pretty lonely journey but it just goes to show
People either stay with you or get up and go
There's so much more that I could say but I'll keep it brief
At least things are improving so that's a relief
Sometimes it just can't be explained with so many questions remaining
Why some recover and others don't, either way it's very draining
It's been a terrible year filled with heartbreak and no fun
I really hope next year is a better one

All I know is in my life I want to help people, because I care
It doesn't matter what it is as long as it's not unfair
Even if it's not appreciated, it's still rewarding to know you're trying
To make a difference in their life and to see them laugh instead of crying
It could be a simple and boring task or one that holds high responsibility
Either way, you should do it properly with enthusiasm and amiability

The piano isn't just a musical instrument
It's a way of expressing yourself when words are too difficult
Writing my thoughts on paper might not make much sense
Compose a song and suddenly people take interest
I let it out in a book to try put my mind at ease
Words are written from the heart then played across ivory keys

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